cosmo sex tip #645

When she sees your dick for the first time look her dead in the eye and say “it glows blue when orcs are close”

(Source: assistantt0theregionalmanager, via andrealessi)

hearing about all the embarrassing things I did the night before is ALWAYS my favourite 

reasonsmysoniscrying:

He met Bill Murray.

Submitted by: Laura R.
Location: St. Andrew’s, Scotland

 

Timestamp: 1368983742

reasonsmysoniscrying:

He met Bill Murray.

Submitted by: Laura R.
Location: St. Andrew’s, Scotland

 

it’s official i’m dying

Nails done.

Timestamp: 1368873542

Nails done.

Nothing will phase me today, it’s our May Ball tonight.

will be in a good mood. 

Pretty convinced I could eat my own weight in new york cheesecake.

I’m just very excited because I ACTUALLY HAVE EYEBROWS.

Timestamp: 1368811260

I’m just very excited because I ACTUALLY HAVE EYEBROWS.